Good evening, friend!
Tonight a snowstorm is coming. It’s a big one. All of winter. One go.
I cannot wait to watch the weather, my family safe at home, as the storm unfolds around us. Solidarity to you if you will be out in winter’s wake.
I pray for God to watch over those who must go out in the storm. Watch over them as they fulfill their duties, and guide them safely home. I also pray that the homeless find shelter, for those who are affected by the shut down, and for minimal power loss, so there is a quick recovery and communities can enjoy the snow in the days ahead.
I am waiting for the snow in elated anticipation. I cannot remember when I started loving snow storms again. I guess it is about the time I decided my life was worth more than some job, or the money I would lose that day. I deem my job a non essential. I work retail in my full time. It will still be there on Monday.
When I was little, I would be so excited for snow days. I didn’t have many friends, but I loved building things with it, going sledding on it, and running around in it. As I reflect on those times, it’s almost like snow was my friend. My father was in the military, and through a turn of events, my life was spent in many different places before the age of nine.
I never saw the point in being vulnerable with someone, nor would I even know how to do that. Having friends was a weird experience for me, because I wasn’t really sure who I was, or what was going on in the world around me. I never stayed in one place long enough to figure it out, but the weather was always constant. The rain, the snow, the sun , the clouds, and the sky would always remain the same no matter where I was in the world or who I was with.
My relationship with snow changed as I grew older, and gained more responsibility. I would have to shovel the driveway when it snowed, which wasn’t too bad. . I remember I would go outside and stare at the sky. Especially if the snow was falling down. Especially at night.
As I grew into adulthood, I stopped staring at the sky. Instead of loving snow, I grew to hate it. I blamed it for causing me to shovel. I blamed it for forcing me to work for a soul sucking retail company that would encourage it’s employees to drive in the shittiest weather, in case someone needed to buy something. Classes are cancelled, yet your asking me if I’m going to be there? Well, I do need that money ,though.
When I visited Washington, D.C. in my twenties, I saw a different side of snow. The one time it did snow, everything stopped. Everyone went home immediately, and bunkered up. Nothing ran. Nobody went anywhere. It was so odd to me. I felt I was in a movie. “What is this?”
My hatred for snow returned when the “need” to drive in that weather returned. I blamed the snow again. In fact, I was mad knowing somewhere this would be different. It wasn’t until I was sitting here reflecting on what to write about, when it hit me like lightning.
The snow never changed. My perspective of the snow changed.
I saw how a different place did something and I thought was amazing! I wanted that for myself, but I was so busy blaming the snow, that I couldn’t understand how to get that. I realized one day that all I had to do was say no from a place of respecting myself, instead of annoyance at work. It was ultimately my choice when I really sat and thought about it.
It seems so simple after the fact, yet in the moment it is so hard to remember that you are in control of your own destiny. The snow will always be there. Instead of a hinderance, it should be a comfort in a way.
Now that I am in my thirties I have learned to look at the sky again. I am blessed that there are those who choose to sacrifice and need to take that risk as a public servant. Thank you so much for what you do. If this resonates with you at all, however you also still have a choice if living that life no longer serves you.
I invite us all to rest tomorrow. Let’s enjoy ourselves, and our families, and figure out which things around our house “spark joy.” It would be a blessing if you would share this with someone who may need to hear this message. Thank you for honoring me with your time.
Good evening, friend!